During an average week, I listen to about 5-10 sermons and talks by various pastors, teachers, and fellow Christians. I listen passively, as I do chores, or drive to work, or as I’m writing.
Lately, I notice that I gravitate towards talks on wisdom, personal will, and God’s will. I’m not quite sure why. In my gut, its just because God is my father, and I really only want to do what He wants me to do in life. And well, some of seeking God’s will comes from my desire to stop chasing rainbows.
I’m over 40 now. I’ve discovered quite a few things:
- I’m with my life partner. For better or for worse, I’m on this journey with him until one of us dies or God calls one of us home, which ever comes first.
- I will never have the long lean build that I’ve coveted for more than twenty years. I can be healthy. I can be fit. I can climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. I will still possess curves that can stop traffic if I don’t exercise some modesty.
- I won’t ever be as famous as Jay-Z or as beautiful as Beyonce’. That’s their journey.
- I probably won’t ever write characters as well as Terry McMillan, be as prolific as Stephen King, or have a TED talk as funny as Seth Godin’s. God bless them. I can appreciate their work and be ME.
- I might could maybe possibly dance on stage with Prince. If I play my cards right and pay enough to get into the Purple Circle Club. That dream is still achievable, gosh darn it.
But the point of the matter is this…with age comes a certain type of wisdom and knowledge about self. Wisdom can help me to make good decisions. Knowledge of self helps me know what direction might be right for ME.
Let me get to the point of this blog post. For a full year I’ve prayed to see God’s will for my writing. At first, I thought it meant I’d be discovered through a contest. Well, I missed the boat for the contest. I had put my hope in an agent that I had a great conversation with at a conference. I submitted my material. The agent (very gracefully and nicely, I will add), let me know that we will not work together. I set out in June to lose 40 pounds. It is September. I’ve lost 5 pounds.
But, I somehow know that is all in God’s plan. Why? Because I’m still here and I’m developing perseverance. And wait…that IS one of the things that I am SUPPOSED to develop, right. That’s right up there with peace, faith, and love.
Back to the reason why I mentioned the sermons. I heard a great analogy from Pastor Tim Keller (Redeemer Church) , and it’s applicable to my journey right now. He (I’m summarizing here), said, “As a four year old child, you go to father and ask him if you can go outside and play. And he’ll tell you something like, no, maybe you should stay around the house because we are going to have dinner soon. Now, as a 20 year old at college, if you call your father and say, hey Dad, can I go outside in the quad and play soccer, he might say ‘whats the matter with you?’ You know your workload and schedule. Use some wisdom’.”
God will never micromanage us.
For a long time I wanted to know if I should get an agent, or custom publish, or self-publish, or WHERE should I go with this complete work of fiction.
God’s answer to me?
Well, where do you want to go? You know what you can handle. You know what you can invest in. You know how soon you want to publish. Go on and do what you want. I will be with you. Make a decision.
I pose that question to you today? What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? What can you handle? Go on. Do it. He will be with you…